My Dear Anna --- The Prison Months
by clfo
Summary: Something just struck me about the injustice of Anna being arrested - it remains to be seen what Mr Fellows has planned, but in the meantime I didn't want poor Anna locked up and feeling forgotten! This started as random drabbles but is starting to take on more form - from formal letters to confidences shared. Please let me know your thoughts x
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Two brief notes that cross in the post**

Grantham House

22nd September, 1924

My Dear Anna,

Words cannot express how shocked we all are at the unjust events of last evening. I write this brief note in the hope that you are returned to us before it arrives. We return to Downton as planned tomorrow and Mr. Bates shall be with us. The wedding over, it is the best plan for all, not least as distance may calm. Do not worry about him. We will look after him. I know you will fear for his wellbeing, but he will be safe with us.

Lady Mary and Lord Grantham are meeting with the legal people this morning and we are all confident that you will be home soon.

All our thoughts are with you.

Yours

E. Hughes

* * *

><p>Holloway<p>

22nd September, 1924

Dear Mrs Hughes

They have allowed me one quick note. I write to you as the person I know that I can trust to understand more than anyone. I implore you to please ensure that Mr. Bates returns to Downton with you all tomorrow. His continued presence in London can serve no purpose at present and I fear that solitude will not serve his temper well.

Please assure him that he will help me best by keeping our home fires burning for when I return. I long to be at home in our cottage. I trust in you to use your calm and influence to ensure that he remains composed and busy and does nothing in haste.

I keep hoping that this is a nightmare and that I will wake to the chaos of packing for our return to Yorkshire.

Your Anna


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Lost for words**

Elsie Hughes sighed as she sat, with relief, at her desk. Her own desk, back in her sitting room at Downton. Mrs Butte's sitting room would never feel the same. Even after two seasons and a wedding there was still a sense of it being Mrs Butte's territory. Even the keys felt different, borrowed, not her own. That said would anything feel the same now? It seemed so much longer than 48 hours since the police had come and taken Anna away from Grantham House. It had seemed an interminably long few days. The younger staff had been occupied packing for the return to Yorkshire, but Anna's arrest, and fear over Mr Bates reaction, had lain very heavily on the housekeeper.

Now they were home and she found herself reliving the aftermath of that evening again. She had had a terrible sense of foreboding ever since the questions had started. The whole ordeal had been horrific. That that awful man had treated her Anna that way; that things had taken this turn…

She bit her lip in anguish and disbelief as she had the other evening. She still didn't believe that they could have taken Anna that way. She had felt a cry of pain building in her as the handcuffs had clicked and Anna was led away. Everything had seemed to move in slow motion. She was dimly aware of Lady Mary protesting in the background; afraid that Mr Bates would react ….Heaven only knew that man had a real temper on him, to say nothing of his criminal record , and things were already bad enough . She felt the blood draining from her face and tried to focus on anything but what was happening in front of her to try and stop this sick feeling in her stomach and the rushing of blood to her ears.

All she could do was stay strong for Anna. She had resolved to be so and hope that the nightmare would soon be over. She was aware of Mrs Patmore putting a cup of tea in front of her and squeezing her shoulder as she tried to reassure her that "it will be fine".

She was dimly aware of gossip among the younger staff. Young Andy was agog…what kind of household had he walked into? What tales to tell his next employers? As Thomas saw fit to fill him in on Mr Bates background she was aware of Mr Carson taking control in the corridor, Mrs Patmore soothing the sobbing Daisy and Mr Molesley and Miss Baxter talking gently to Mr Bates, calming him, reassuring him; empty words that at least soothed him and prevented any immediate reaction.

Lady Mary and Lord Grantham had gone back upstairs to "discuss tactics" with assurances that they would speak to the family law firm first thing. Mrs Hughes sighed. If only Mr Crawley was still alive; he may have had some influence - some contacts as a solicitor that he could have used to help.

Now, jolted back in to the present she looked at the blank page in front of her….would this even have happened had they been at Downton rather than in London? Never fully at ease a Grantham House, she knew she was being unreasonable; after all the detectives from Scotalnd Yard had been here too.

A tear slipped down her cheek and dropped onto the page. She screwed the paper in anger and tossed it towards the bin. It wasn't often that she was lost for words, but words just wouldn't come.

Tomorrow was the unveiling of the war memorial. A sombre enough occasion in any case, though there would be an extra shadow hanging over them now. Guilt settled heavily on her. She knew that Anna would be desperate for word from home, longing to hear that Mr Bates was safely at home and not acting rashly, but she was exhausted and simply didn't know what to write.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3: A letter from home**

**Like Elsie I struggled with this a bit. It seems wrong for her to be writing to Anna, and a strange crossing of the employer / maternal boundary, yet there is so much more she wanted to say – and Charles won't stay out of her head either which isn't helping! Anna's turn in the next chapter. Let me know what you think!**

Downton

28th September 1924

My dear Anna

It remains impossible to express the shock that we are all feeling at your absence. I find myself turning to speak to you several times a day. I didn't realise how much I have come to rely on you.

We returned home to find that autumn has come early to Yorkshire this year. There is a definite chill in the air and cyclamen flowers carpet the ground in the long walk with pinks, purples and whites. It is lovely to breathe the air here after London. I hate to think of you there, so implore you to close your eyes and try and visualise the house at this time of year.

The girls had all the dustsheets removed in no time and once we had unpacked (with all the usual drama!) everything slipped back fairly seamlessly into the normal routine. Despite the incident with Miss Denker, young Andy seems to have fitted in well and we have kept him on for now. I am sure we can find plenty to keep him busy. He was rather overawed by the house when we got here and I was reminded of your early weeks. The last few days have had me feeling very nostalgic, but I will move on to more current news – I can't risk you thinking me sentimental!

Today was the unveiling of the war memorial. It was a simple, but moving ceremony. Lord Grantham and Mr Carson spoke of the boys we lost. As you know, Mrs Patmore had been reluctant to attend, but in a lovely gesture after the main event, Lord Grantham took her aside and unveiled a memorial plaque to her nephew. The poor woman was overcome with emotion. Even Mr Carson was forced to admit that it was a touching and appropriate gesture. It has been strangely calming to all of us - the assurance that the memorial shall remain there in perpetuity as a reminder.

The other big news is that Daisy has decided to stay here at Downton and forego the lights of London – at least until she has passed her exams. Naturally Mrs Patmore is reluctant to show just how "chuffed" she feels at the news. Poor Mr Mason's face dropped when she told him of Daisy's plans; the poor girl didn't stand a chance once she had the pair of them looking so forlorn and disappointed! Mrs Patmore is like the cat that got the cream now - that woman could win prizes for her emotional blackmail skills!

Mr Bates is doing fine. Don't you worry. He is staying at the cottage but we are making sure that he is kept occupied. He is planning to see you next week when you are able to receive visitors, but I am sure he has told you all about that in his own letters.

You are the sweetest natured, gentlest girl and I have no doubt that the truth will out in the end. It may seem now as if the world is conspiring against you and Mr Bates, but we must have faith in the system and pray that justice is done very soon.

I shall finish here as the Sinderby's are dining here tonight and I want to walk to the village to post this.

Stay strong Anna, and know that our thoughts are all with you.

Elsie Hughes

_She stopped, laying her pen on the blotter.. Her maids would never believe that she had struggled to find words as she had. Ironically she thought Anna would be amused. What she couldn't say; wouldn't say; could barely even comprehend was the feelings that were churning round inside her. _

_She needed the walk to the village post office, to try and clear her head of her fears for Anna, the list of jobs that she couldn't seem to motivate herself to do and, and…Mr Carson. She felt…shame, guilt, and hope? Yes guilt, more than anything. _

_She yearned for a friend to pour her heart out to. There was no one she could talk to. He was her closest friend, yet the source of her disquiet. Her sister too distant, both in miles and years now; they had chosen different ways and in doing so had lost the closeness of their childhood. Mrs Patmore would tease her about him, wouldn't be able to resist and anyway to admit some of her fears to the cook, whose respect had taken so long to earn just wouldn't be right._

_The despair at Anna's plight, the desperate sense of foreboding; the feeling that she was getting too old for this job, this life; the elation that she had felt at the way he had looked at her on the way back from the village. "I have every faith in the British justice system". If only she felt the same. Poor, poor Anna…and yet here she was sat at her desk searching for words to write to the poor girl because, because she was daydreaming. Dreaming of the way that he had looked at her, tried to comfort her in his stuffy, awkward manner…"we must always travel in hope". She shook herself. She was getting sentimental. Was there hidden meaning there? She felt herself blush. It was hope that had kept her going, hope that had made her turn down Joe's second proposal, hope that had got her through many a long season without him. _

_Now though, it seemed wrong to have hope that maybe he did care, maybe the suggestion of a retirement investment together was more than purely financial. How wrong to even be thinking such thoughts._

_She knew though, from his face, that he too was worried about the Bates' situation. That he too worried that Mr Bates was drowning his sorrows a little too much. That he was too quiet. Brewing. Tense. Worrying. _

_What she had written seemed trite, belittling the unveiling. She didn't want to dwell on the emotion for fear of depressing Anna. She read and re read her letter looking for inspiration to continue. It would get easier, but she hoped to God she wouldn't need to write to her dear girl again, hoped that before they knew it she would be back home, where she belonged. _

_Sighing, she picked up her pen once more, addressed the envelope and headed to the post._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Anna**

**As ever, they are not mine, only borrowed! This chapter (tries!) to look at Anna's feelings the day of the arrest. Please let me know what you think **

The fear clenched at her stomach, tying it up in knots. She felt sick. Had done since Viner had come to Downton with his questions, all those questions. The fear had become so ingrained she had felt it seeping into her heart. She hadn't slept properly in weeks. The relief she had felt initially, on hearing of Greens death, had soon dissipated. First there had been the niggling doubt that Mr Bates may have been involved then the questions, so many questions. Her head had spun with them, the need to keep her anger at bay, keep the truth of what he had done to her; the hope that Mr Bates would keep his cool. She was so glad that only he and Mrs Hughes knew. She knew she could trust the housekeeper. She had always been able to; had been so glad that it was her who had found her that dreadful night.

This morning – only this morning? - when she and Mr Bates had attended Scotland Yard she had tried to convince herself that it was merely a formality, but that cold feeling had remained inside her. Afterwards she and Mr Bates had been to look at the house. His mother's house. His childhood home. They had decided on what pieces of furniture and personal effects they wanted to keep, to send back to Yorkshire. The visit had confirmed that they would put the house itself on the market, with a view to investing in a business in the future. They had made a list of repairs and improvements which needed undertaking beforehand.

It had been a nice little interlude from all the Green business. Mr Bates had reminisced about his childhood, had found a set of wooden blocks his grandfather had made when he was a child. She had insisted they take them back to Grantham House today. She had hoped that finding them may be talisman, a sign that they too would soon be blessed with children.

The pleasant mood had lasted, they had strolled back, down a memory lane which showed her a different side to her husband: his school, the streets where he had kicked a football, the site of the first home he remembered, modern houses now – built on the site of the overcrowded slums the Irish had lived in, the house where he had worked as a boot boy before joining the army -yet he remembered it all with fondness. She had swallowed tears as she looked back at the sorrow in her own childhood, the gaping hole left by the death of her mother which wasn't filled until she came to Downton four years after.

Their children would have the best of both their childhoods; the clean Yorkshire air of hers, the love and family of his. They would have siblings too…eventually. It was just a matter of time. This lighter feeling had stayed with her throughout dinner. She was looking forward to going home. She always did after London. She knew some of the others loved London, but Downton was home.

For the first time in weeks she had relaxed, found herself smiling as Lady Mary recounted her day, she had smiled at the exploits of the Sanders's and Flintshire's. Then it had happened. Such a shock. She had known as soon as Mrs Hughes had tapped on Lady Mary's door that it was bad news. "Mr Viner's downstairs…he says he's come to arrest you". Would she ever forget those words, the haunted look in the housekeepers eyes as she said them; her own shock reflected in Lady Marys eyes?

She had been numb as they led her away. Feeling nothing except a strange detachment as she looked back from the dark passageway to them all clustered together in shock.

That had been several hours ago, and the chill was back now. The fear. All she could think of was Mr Bates and the way that he had looked; the way that Lord Grantham had held him back. This was a nightmare wasn't it? A physical cold added itself to the emotional ice that gripped her and a sob of despair escaped her. She had no tears, just an awful burning pain inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A letter of love to Mr Bates**

**Thank you for all your lovely comments! This was a tough one!**

**Anna trying to reassure Mr Bates without telling him how miserable she really feels! As ever please review!**

My darling Mr Bates

I hope that you are well and that our precious cottage is alright after our absence in London. As I write I see our home, we sat by the fire, quiet, simply enjoying one another's company. I swore once before that I would never take the simple pleasures in life for granted again…now I find myself saying the same again.

I may be a prisoner here; they can take my freedom but not the love that I feel for you. No, nothing has the power to part me from you; our love is based on so much more, has withstood so much.

It is very important for me to tell you how very much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person while holding you in my arms and gazing into your eyes. But since we are physically separated by miles of emptiness, this expression must come in the form of letters such as this. I had hoped our letter writing days were over, but it seems that is not the case.

I know it is difficult for you, my darling husband, as it is for me, to be separated for so long. Life seems to be full of trials of this type which test our inner strength, and more importantly, our devotion and love for one another. After all, it is said that true is boundless and endless and overcomes all forms of hardship. I can only hope that with all the trials our marriage has been through that it will grow stronger with each assault upon its existence.

Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love, my warm embrace, and my most passionate kiss.

Your Anna xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A strange quiet had permeated downstairs ever since their return from London. Anna's absence was, in many ways, felt much more than her presence seemed to have been. Even Thomas had been pleasant, helpful, concerned and had, without being asked even absorbed some of Mr Bates duties.

Mr Carson handed the post out over breakfast, sliding a letter subtly to his right with a raised eyebrow as he recognised the writing. Mrs Hughes pocketed it with an imperceptible nod; its presence missed in the flurry of excitement as Daisy tore open a letter from Miss Bunting – to Mrs Patmore's very vocal disapproval.

As soon as was polite, the housekeeper excused herself from the table and shut herself away in her parlour. Her heart racing, she hoped against hope that this letter held good news.

-O-

_Holloway_

_Dear Mrs Hughes_

_Thank you for your letter. It was wonderful to hear from home._

_I am sorry not to be your normal positive Anna, but I know I can talk to you as I dare not talk to Mr Bates. I am afraid. Very afraid. Of this place, of the future, of what might happen to me, of Mr Bates and how he may react to what has happened. You and I both know he must not risk any further trouble. I know I ask a lot, but please keep an eye on his, keep him occupied, keep him at Downton if you can. He can do no good in London and I don't want him to risk everything. _

_I know from past experience how calming you can be in a crisis. You were there for me when the roles were reversed, and now, by this awful twist of fate I throw myself on your mercy again and ask you to watch over him for me. I love him with all my heart and could not bear it if he was to get into trouble on my behalf._

_Silence. That is the thing that is getting to me the most. It is not just the being locked up 22 hours a day it is the isolation, the feeling forgotten, wondering if anyone will remember to bring your meals, wondering if you are the only person alive in these walls. _

_I am so glad that I had no idea what he was suffering when our roles were reversed. It must be torture for him knowing how I feel, what conditions are like. _

_I have little concept of time passing and try to fill my day with the normal daily routine. In my mind I follow our routine at Downton, rising with the sun and taking myself through the chores of the day to try and mark time. In reality, I barely know whether hours, days or months have passed. The same bare walls, the same barred window, the same hard bed. I remember Gwen once complaining that our shared attic room was like a prison cell. I long for the luxury of those rooms even in the days before we had any heating, when the window iced inside; at least we had glass, and comfortable beds, our own possessions around us._

_I am sorry to be so miserable. I feel again like the homesick fourteen year old Anna who came to Downton all those years ago!_

_Thank you again, for everything now and then._

_You're Anna_

_-O-_

She sighed and swallowed back the tears. The tone of the letter worried her. She knew Anna. She remembered the heartbroken girl of fourteen all too well. More worryingly, it seemed that Anna had given up hope completely and that could not be good.

If only she herself had Mr Carson's faith in the British justice system. She stood by what she had said to him that day walking back from the unveiling. Sorrow _did_ seem to shadow the Bates'. What worried her now, was that more than simply shadowing it seemed to be seeping into Anna's soul. How to travel in hope when everything seemed so helpless?

A sob broke free and she laid her head in her hands and for the first time since the arrest really let her emotions out. She cried for the injustice of it, for the loss of her girl, for the emptiness and loneliness that had trickled into her own soul over the last week. She felt old and so so helpless.

Suddenly she was aware of strong arms around her, holding her tight and soothing her tears. Somewhere deep down she felt that she should stop crying, try and pull herself together, but now she had started she just couldn't seem to stop. "Shah" he soothed gently, stroking her back. Somehow it was even more reassuring that he wasn't uttering empty platitudes, assuring her that everything would be well. She had heard enough of that over the last few days, had even been guilty of saying it herself to Mr Bates.

Gradually her weeping began to subside. He leaned back to wipe away her tears with his handkerchief. Gently he stroked her face as he led her to her sofa and crouched down at her side. Sobs still wracked her body and she shuddered, suddenly cold now she was no longer in his embrace.

"I'm not going anywhere" he said, rising, "but if I don't move, I won't be able to get up again"

She smiled weakly "the downside of us getting on a bit Mr Carson"

He smiled back, his concern at seeing her so broken etched on his face. A tap at the door startled them. He frowned in disappointment and frustration before opening the door to see Daisy stood there with a tray of tea. "Mrs Patmore sent this" she said, edging forwards to enter the room.

"Thank you Daisy" he took the tray off her and closed the door softly, but firmly behind her.

"Perfect timing!" he said, cheerfully, busying himself with the tea.

-O-

Tea poured, he made to sit at her desk.

"No, please sit here" she said softly "please?"

Tentatively he perched beside her on the sofa. Emboldened in his own way he hesitantly reached for her hand "steadier?" he asked shyly. She nodded gently, entwining her fingers in his.

"Anna?" he prompted gently

"The letter…read it" she replied blinking back the tears that again burned at her eyes.

They sat in companionable silence as he read. He folded the letter carefully and placed it on the side table.

"Well?" she prompted

"She is certainly melancholic; not our Anna at all, but then who would be?" He paused and carefully lifted his hand to her face. Turning her chin towards him he looked deep into her eyes. "I don't honestly know what we can do to help, beyond holding the fort here and offering her support" he said "I know how much she means to you; she does to all of us. Look at the way that she has grown up over the years and into what a lovely young woman. Thanks to you…."

He paused to wipe a stray tear trickling helplessly down her cheek. He took a deep breath. "Now may not be the time to chastise you like this but you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders sometimes….No, don't argue…I know, the keeper of the keys, the keeper of the Abbey's secrets. I have kept my counsel on this as I know you and Anna have dealt with whatever the problem is in your own way, but there is more to it. I think it is weighing you down and I don't like it. I don't like it at all when you are affected like this. If we are to help her, we need to work together. You, me, Mr Bates, the family, the lawyers – whoever it takes. I would never ask you to betray a confidence Mrs Hughes, you know that, but something has bothered me since Viner and his colleague came here to speak to Anna. When they spoke of Green and his….abominable behaviour towards women, I noticed something in the way you looked at Anna…did he, I mean, um, not our Anna?"

She nodded almost indiscernibly and looked at him, raw pain in her eyes. "Yes" she whispered "yes".

"Oh God" he groaned and held her hand tighter.

She jolted suddenly, fear filling her eyes "Oh no!" she gasped. "if you noticed, do you think they did, you don't think it was my face which made them think Anna a victim, gave them a motive to pin on her? She is innocent. Trust me. They both are."

"So Bates knows?" he mused "No, no one else would have noticed your expression. I can't say about any expression on Anna's face. I was looking at you…only you….."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Mr Bates flounders**

**Thank you for all your lovely comments so far. I hope you continue to enjoy! x**

_Dear Mrs Bates,_

_I hope that you are well__

God, what was he thinking? _Mrs Bates_…. He'd never seen Anna that way; that was still his mother's name. He scratched out what he had written and aimed the ball of paper at the fireplace. Totally unnatural it was, to be sat in your own cottage, in your marital home, writing to your own wife. Getting on the train in London had nearly torn him apart. Inside he had been screaming to stay; helpless but at least near her. Every mile had only increased the pain, the resentment, the sense of loss.

She should be here, by his side, not locked up with heaven only knows who else. Maybe it was life in service that had brought out his inner snob, but he knew from his own experience that the people one encountered inside were not nice. Until Green, Anna had lived such a sheltered life; whatever would she make of some of the women he imagined she would encounter in jail….even worse what would they make of her, his gentle, frail , innocent Anna. Despair threatened to overwhelm him once more.

He picked up his pen, straightened his paper and began again…

_Dear Anna_

_We are having unseasonably mild weather here in Yorkshire…._

Good God man! You are writing to your wife: the woman you love. Not some distant maiden aunt.

The blank pages in front of him stared back reproachfully as attempt after attempt was balled up and thrown fire wards.

_Dearest Anna_

_How are you?_

Dammit! The pile of screwed up paper grew and grew…..He should have taken the blame….he could have dealt with it again. Once innocently convicted what would another time be…the gallows, that's what it would be…but God, he would have taken the blame innocent as they both were to save her this. He could have killed Green with his bare hands for what he did. The more time went on the deeper his hatred of the man ran…it almost seemed that in death he had escaped justice. Was he the reason that he and Anna did not seem able to have children? It had certainly crossed his mind that that _beast_ had damaged her some way and he knew that deep down it was in her mind.

He loved Anna unreservedly but what kind of husband was he that he couldn't even write to her?

He hadn't slept since the arrest; every time he dozed he jolted awake almost immediately, his head thumped and he felt muddled, confused; the more he tried to see a way out of this mess, the worse it seemed to get. He needed sleep, he needed clarity. He needed Anna. He needed a drink.

He reached for the bottle of brandy and poured himself a dram. They only kept it for medicinal reasons, but surely this counted as an emergency?

Lord only knew how Anna had survived his imprisonment. She must be made of stronger stuff than he was. He had known it was hard on her, but he could never have imagined it this tough.

Everything seemed to have really slowed down. Time was moving at a snail's pace. People were being kind, but he was aware that they were all uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. He was not the natural mixer that Anna was. It was easier to avoid them and spend as much time as possible here at the cottage. Mrs Hughes had offered to have his old attic room made up for him, but he felt that at least in the cottage he was somehow closer to Anna. How had she managed alone? How had she managed to write such upbeat, loving letters to him?

As the brandy took effect, the pain seemed somehow less. Emboldened, he picked up his pen again:

_My Darling Anna,_

_I miss you so much and long for you to come home. I feel desolate at you being there, but hope that they at least treat women better than men…._

No! He screwed this page up too. He had made a better start only to ruin it. An echo of his marriages – wondered the brandy in his mind? This was so patronising, so belittling as if to say that he thought she was having an easier time inside than he had…as if he was trying to score points in some way…he poured another glass, but the bottle was shaking and it spilt over the paper on the table. No, he mumbled, that certainly wouldn't do, can't send brandy soaked….

_Darling Anna,_

_I miss you and hope so much that you are home soon. Remember you are my life and the bravest woman I know. Stay strong. I'll see you very soon._

_Love, _

_John x_

It was short, but sealed and ready to go. He knew the importance of simply receiving post, the difference it could make to a day. It would get easier, though he hoped he wouldn't have to write to her many more times.

Brandy must evaporate once opened he mused…half the bottle seemed to have vanished….

Finally he slept.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Anna receives post**

**Poor Mrs Hughes is really struggling with her angst over Anna and a certain butler who won't leave her head alone!**

**We're back to Elsie for the next instalment, but bear with me now the Christmas holidays are upon us! As ever thank you all so much for your lovely reviews – I really appreciate them so keep them coming! X**

**-0-0-**

_My Dear Anna,_

_Your letter certainly brought back memories of you arriving at Downton. It is hard to believe that fifteen years have passed since then. How we, and the world (despite Mr Carson's' reservations!) have changed in that time!_

_I am pleased to hear that "following" your daily routine here is helping you to mark time. When I look back at the young Anna, I see your initial amazement at the rooms, and the love that you have always had for the library in particular. Do you remember, you must only have been sixteen or so, and you and Gwen had been sent to "do" the library? Gwen appeared for elevenses without you – I eventually found you curled up in the corner with Black Beauty. You'd been reading a few pages at a time, not realising that we were encouraged to borrow books! _

_Oh Anna, if I had my time again I would have been less stern with you; taken more notice of your interests – taken time out to give you some more time to be a child - maybe taken you down to the stables. I know now, but did not then, that you are afraid of horses. A farm girl, I grew up around them; even now between you and I - the stables are somewhere I escape to when I need some space. _

_I had a letter from Ethel yesterday. She sounds happy now she and Charlie are settled in Manchester. She is walking out with a young man, and I am hopeful that she will settle down with him and give young Charlie what Mr Carson would call a "respectable future". Young Charlie is thriving at school and a handsome young fellow in the photograph she enclosed. She asked, as ever, after you and sends her best. With any luck you will be home and writing to her in no time!_

_Lady Mary and Lord Grantham have been to London to see the legal people. I know they are hoping to see you while they are there and can only hope that you have seen them by the time you read this letter. Mr Bates will be coming on Thursday for a visit and looks forward very much to seeing you._

_You once said you were not a lady and proud of it. You are a lady, in the true sense of the word, if not by title - and more besides. Don't you ever forget that as you go forward on this journey?_

_We are all incredibly proud of you and pray for you._

_E Hughes_

Somehow it had been easier to write today. She felt happier in herself which was important in trying to keep Anna's spirits up. She felt that she had achieved a lighter note in her letter, and the little news from Ethel was at least some variety for Anna.

It felt as if a trouble shared had indeed, if not been halved, had certainly reduced a little. She had felt different since her chat with Mr Carson the other evening. Things had been different. He was somehow _there_ more, almost sensing when she needed a cup of tea or simply a kind word or a smile. He had been more tactile too, touching her shoulder when he saw her struggling; squeezing her hand briefly at the table when he saw her hackles rising at some tactless remark that Thomas had made. Yes, there were definitive changes and she felt stronger for them. She felt stronger for knowing he was there for her.

He was there all the time in her head and she felt instantly better, found herself smiling as she heard his footfall in the corridor, his humming as he polished silver or his bellow resonating as he reprimanded some poor member of his staff.

He had talked of an investment property – a financial return for their retirement, but over the last week she had found herself unable to think of a retirement without him; unable to think of a property without wanting to share it with him. She felt herself blush. It didn't do to think that way. She was a respectable housekeeper not some giddy girl. Even when Joe had proposed to her she had been able to keep her mind on task, not keep wandering off into these nice, but totally unrealistic daydreams.

Even so, she couldn't rid herself though of the guilt she felt at carrying Anna's awful secret and the niggling doubt that maybe, just maybe, there was something which could have been handled differently. Something which would have avoided this awful mess. Mr Carson hadn't mentioned the revelation since, but she knew in his own way he was dealing with the anger he had and processing the information and what, if anything, they could do to help Anna. He was worried too, she knew, about Mr Bates. He hadn't said as much, but she could read him like a book – the slight frown when Bates came in the room, the delegation of tasks here and there to Mr Molesley or even Thomas. She resolved to follow it up and found herself blushing girlishly again at the thought of an excuse to seek him out.

-0-0-

**And by the same post, another letter from home….**

_Downton, Tuesday_

_Dear Mrs Bates, Anna, Mrs Bates?_

_Mrs Hughes suggested I write to you myself rather than keeping asking her to tell you stuff. It is strange without you here. I didn't realise how much we spoke. Everyone is really grumpy and sad without you here. _

_I have decided to stay at Downton for now and carry on with my studies. Mrs Patmore seems quite pleased I am staying , and will one day, I hope ,be proud she encouraged me to study though she is grumbling a lot about it at the moment. I think Mr Mason is also glad. It was a lovely day when they unveiled the memorial._

_The memorial itself is nice. It looks good where they've put it. I felt really proud of William and as if, at last, I finally fit as his widow even though I was never really his wife, if that makes sense. I think you understood how I felt about marrying him, but I really do feel proud that his name is there – in the village forever._

_Mrs Patmore wasn't happy at all about going but after his lordship came down to the kitchen and asked her, she kind of had to. She was really happy that there is something for her nephew. It got me thinking that while I don't want to spend my life in service, life at Downton is pretty good really. Oh, don't tell Mrs Hughes I said that – she'll think I'm being really ungrateful._

_Miss Bunting writes to me each week and says she is pleased with how my work is coming along. Mrs Patmore still says she thinks I've swallowed a dictionary and that she hopes I don't write as I talk. She sends her best and says she is looking forward to cooking your favourite meal when you come home._

_Lady Mary has loaned me a book which her grandmother sent from America. It is called What Katy Did and I am really enjoying it. I have wondered about sending it to you once I have finished but Mrs Hughes says you can read it when you are home as you are only allowed a Bible to read. There is one bit which has really inspired me though, so I'm copying it out though Mrs Patmore says that there is nothing wrong with having a Bible to read and at least it'll be summat to do. Anyway, I'm enjoying the book and think you will too: _

_It goes "To-morrow I will begin," thought Katy, as she dropped asleep that night. How often we all do so! And what a pity it is that when morning comes and to-morrow is to-day, we so frequently wake up feeling quite differently; careless or impatient, and not a bit inclined to do the fine things we planned overnight_

_Isn't that hopeful? I feel like that, a lot. Especially when I get something wrong and Mrs Patmore scolds me, or I get lost in a book and am late doing something for dinner. _

_I haven't forgotten all the nice, kind things you have done for me over the years. I wish I could do something for you now, but I am thinking of you and praying for you. I hope you don't mind me writing. _

_Daisy_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Chelsie team up when things go awry!**

**Thank you again for all your lovely reviews. Please keep them coming x**

**-0-0-**

A tap at the door and the rattling of tea cups had Elsie Hughes on her feet – a sixth sense told her who it was. He had again seen the letter arrive this morning and instinctively knew that she would need a brew about now.

"Oh, thank you" she smiled up at him as he placed the tea tray on her side table.

"I thought, maybe, um, are you alright?" he bumbled.

"_I_ am, I think" she said "poor Anna is cold though….I'm worried"

She held out the letter to him as she had the other night. It was strange, she mused as she poured the tea that there was no reticence between them; that was a definite shift – sharing Anna's correspondence like this was almost an intimacy; something that a long married couple may do, but a new departure for them. She felt her colour rise and busied herself with the tray in the hope he wouldn't notice, but he was engrossed in the letter, his emotions clearly etched on his face as he read.

_Dear Mrs Hughes_

_Thank you for your lovely letter. It was so nice to hear of home. I do indeed remember the incident in the library. I was so frightened that you would be cross and dismiss me! I am so grateful that you encouraged me to read – I'm finding it very useful to lose myself in fictional worlds of my own imagination! I am pleased too that you are encouraging Daisy to write. I had a lovely letter from her by the same post as yours._

_I am so pleased that Mr Bates is coming this week. I hadn't been told that I was likely to have a visit and his own correspondence has been strange – almost as if he doesn't know what to say to me. Are you sure that he is alright? I am worried about him._

_I have had a brief visit from the family lawyer. You will probably know by now that they wouldn't let Lady Mary and Lord Grantham in with him, but I saw them through the window of the interview room – I have never been so grateful for a friendly wave!_

_I am trying to see Downton at this time last year and certainly remember it as warmer than it feels this year. Maybe that was just the freedom of being able to go outside and enjoy what sunshine there was. The more time I spend here the more I wonder how Mr Bates survived all those months. _

_Last night was another cold, damp night. I sat in the cell listening and hearing every noise. I try to hear the owls and foxes we hear on our nightly walk from the Abbey home to our cottage, but they were drowned out by reality; instead all I could hear vermin scuffling and people a distance away outside muttering in the dark misty night. There are awful noises from other cells which send chills through me. The wind is getting fiercer now, whistling between the brickwork; the exercise yard is a strange place – the delight at being outside, seeing the breeze picking up the leaves off the ground, yet feeling so confined. Never have I learned more for the Dales and moors of home. _

_I can see a slit of sky through the bars; the stars in the sky were brighter than usual, they were shining and twinkling in the clear black sky. It gets me through, thinking that they are the same stars that you are all looking at from Downton. I see the sky at night as Mr Bates and I walk home to the cottage at night - like glitter on black paper. _

_I look forward with all my heart to seeing Mr Bates on Thursday. In the hope that you receive this in time, please can you ask him to bring my warm shawl – the green and blue one you gave me one Christmas - which is on the back of the settle in the cottage kitchen? I don't know whether they will let me have it, but it would be lovely if they will._

_Thank you._

_Love_

_Your Anna_

-0-0-

There was a calm silence as he folded the letter and handed it back to her. Was it her imagination or did his fingers actively seek hers? Once again she found herself looking tearfully at him. "It's not just Anna who is afraid" she said softly "I'm worried that Mr Bates may, well, overreact when he sees her on Thursday…"

"I'll see if I can have a word with him, in fact I may ask his lordship to have a chat as well. It's odd though, we've not heard much about how it went with the lawyers….."

An enormous crash broke the calm, peppered with foul language.

"What on…?"

They dashed into the hall to find Mr Bates collapsed at the bottom of the stairs. "Oops!" he slurred scrambling for his cane and trying to focus on the faces crowded round him.

-0-0-

It was some time later that they finally found their way back to her sitting room; Carson and Thomas between them had eventually managed to get the dead weight of Mr Bates up to his old attic room. Mrs Patmore had plied him with strong coffee and Dr Clarkson had confirmed that the ankle they had feared broken was only badly sprained.

"What an evening Mrs Hughes. Mrs Hughes?" She jolted out of her reverie and looked intently at him. He knew from the way that she was biting her lip that something was really worrying her.

"We can't tell her – the poor girl's got enough on her plate" she said anxiously

"What else can we do?" he asked "His drinking is out of control. We can't – I won't – keep covering up for him"

She turned an icy glare on him. "You mean this isn't the first 'incident'?"

"Well, no, he missed the dressing gong two nights ago – he had gone home to the cottage mid-afternoon to write to Anna – I thought he had dozed off; after all the poor man has been exhausted. Mr Molesley went to fetch him and reported that he smelled like a distillery" He put his hand up to stop whatever she was about to say. "I was wrong. I accept I should have told you, but you too have had a lot on your plate. I know how worried you are about her. I thought it was a one off – he felt truly awful the next morning and I honestly believed that was the end of it. I'm sorry." He reached out and squeezed her hand.

"It's not your fault. But nor is it Anna's! The stupid, selfish man! How could he do this to her?" Tears once again threatened. "Heavens look at me Mr Carson. Whenever I'm in your company at the moment, I seem to cry!"

"I don't mind, Mrs Hughes, not at all - that's what friends are for…a shoulder to cry on" He caught her eye and still holding her hand pulled her to her feet and into a gentle hug "A trouble shared…" he whispered softly into her ear.

They stood in a warm silence, taking strength from simply holding one another. She felt safe for the first time since Anna's arrest.

Finally, she pulled away slightly her palms resting against his chest, his arms still encircling her.

"Whatever" she broke the silence "he can't go to London tomorrow. He can't even walk, let alone manage the trains and getting across town; and that's even if he had sobered up enough to find his way and didn't divert for Dutch courage on the way."

"Once again, Mrs Hughes, we are in complete agreement. What am I to do though? He doesn't answer to me, and his Lordship won't have a word said against him."

"I don't know, Mr Carson, honestly I don't. My main concern is that it is visiting tomorrow and we can't let poor Anna go without seeing anyone."

"You go" he said decisively. I'll clear it with Her Ladyship on the grounds of the silly fool having sprained his ankle.

"But… we've got a dinner party tomorrow night, and overnight guests and, and what on earth am I going to tell Anna?"

" You may be dismayed to hear it, but Mrs Patmore and I are more than capable of handling a dinner party!" he smiled down at her "Give Miss Baxter your instructions for everything else – I am sure she can manage a few housemaids for the day. As you say Anna is what matters. As for what to tell her. Tell her the truth. Just not all of it. Merely that he took a tumble on the stairs and sprained his ankle."

"Alright" she agreed nervously biting her lip "At least if I go I will see her for myself – I ought to pack a basket with a few things – her shawl, some of Mrs Patmore's biscuits"

"You'll feel better for going" he said drawing her closer again "and don't worry about Mr Bates. I'll handle this end tomorrow. You focus on Anna and keeping her spirits up."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – A prison visit**

**Hello everyone – once again thank you for staying with me and for all your lovely comments. Please do keep them coming – they mean a lot and keep me writing! This started as a normal chapter and has ended up a bit of an epic! Enjoy **

-0-0-

"Ready?" Once again he had crept up on her softly breaking her reverie. It was early and aside from the stirrings in the kitchen and breakfast was started, downstairs remained quiet.

"Ready as I can be" she smiled nervously. "I've the shawl she asked for, goodies from Mrs Patmore and Daisy, and a note and handkerchief from Miss Baxter" She didn't tell him that the other woman had shared some of her past with her last night as she delegated duties for today; prepared her somewhat for what she would see today, for how Anna may feel. That she was sending a lavender scented handkerchief to drown out some of the stench of prison life which, she had confided in the housekeeper, still gagged her at times when memories hit.

"Send her all our best" he replied, hugging her tightly – surprisingly. She caught her breath; still unsure how to take this new tactile Mr Carson. She liked him, but he was so different to the man she e had known so long, her threw her somewhat off balance.

-0-

The train journey was interminable. She hadn't travelled from Downton to London alone since she had been called to take over from Mrs Bute 18 months ago. Then she had been full of things to do at Grantham House when she got there, and had looked forward to seeing them all when she arrived. Now, she was nervous. Terrified for Anna. Frightened of what awaited at Holloway. She tried to distract herself with other thoughts, but the unsettled, foreboding remained.

Anxiety gripped at her insides and the journey seemed to last forever. Part of her willed the time away, while another part of her wished it never to end; for fear of what she had to face at the other end. Her heart truly ached for Anna. She had been shocked last evening on visiting the cottage. Gone was the pristine homeliness that Anna had created since her marriage. It was cold and musty. No fire had been lit there since before they had left for London.

She was glad she had gone in time to air the shawl and the few other bits she had bought for Anna in her sitting room overnight. Anna had been too well trained, she smiled wryly at the irony of this – to miss tell-tale smells of damp. Worryingly the cottage had also shown the evidence of Mr Bates heavy drinking – there was little that had made her glad that Anna had not just suddenly appeared since her arrest but she knew that seeing her home that way would have broken her heart. All the meals that Mrs Patmore and Daisy had lovingly prepared and sent home with Mr Bates had been uneaten – a couple smashed on the floor, whether in temper or alcohol fuelled clumsiness she couldn't tell. She had done her best in the time given; it had taken longer than she had anticipated though, and Mr Carson had come to find her to warn her that she would likely be needed soon. He had taken over then, a tacit agreement between them to keep this quiet; return the washed dishes to the kitchen subtly; to keep Mr Bates in the staff quarters at the Abbey, where they could at least keep an eye on him, keep him away from drink as far as they could and certainly ensure that no more damage was done to the cottage. She resolved to pop in tomorrow and open a couple of windows and air the place properly. Anna needed her home to be home when she was released; that was the easy part. Getting the man she had married back maybe more difficult. She certainly didn't envy Mr Carson the wrath of Mr Bates this morning when he found she had come in his place.

-0-

"Anna!" she cried reaching out her arms for the young woman, Anna looked up, but remained sat, her hands clasped demurely in her lap, her face aged, her sunken eyes etched with pain and worry, as a guard unceremoniously almost pushed the housekeeper into her seat. The housekeeper stifled a gasp. Where was her girl? The woman opposite had aged. She took in the e porcelain skin the dark circles under the eyes, the lovely blonde hair now dull and lifeless scraped back into a tight bun which only served to pull the skin on her face tighter, making her look more pinched. She stifled a gasp and bit her lip nervously. It was worse, much much worse than she had ever imagined. The whole place was old, dank, a stench of decay pervading it. A prison that echoed of Dickensian horror, not a modern age, not the twentieth century. To think this was how they treated women, the fairer sex – whatever, this was inhumane – and Anna, her poor Anna – so frail and delicate looking, drowning in the horror of it all. Despair engulfed the place. She gulped. The echo of his words – "keep our girls spirits up" in her mind. She took a deep breath and smiled at Anna.

"Anna"

The younger woman seemed to suddenly realise she was there and started...

"Mrs Hughes! What…? Where…?" the panic and disappointment was engraved on her face.

"Oh, my dear girl, am I glad to see you!"

"But where…?"

"All in good time, how _are_ you?" She noticed the sunken cheeks, the weight loss and again instinctively reached out of r the younger woman's hand. Before she could blink a guard had slammed his fist on the table and snarled a warning: "no contact". The women looked at one another, the unshed tears at the brutality of such an act speaking much much more than any words.

"Now" said Anna tearfully breaking the silence "will you tell me, please? Where is Mr Bates? I'm scared…"

"Oh, no, Anna don't think that, nothing like that. He had a silly fall. Daft man slipped on the stairs yesterday – he had a real tumble and sprained his ankle badly. There would have been no way he could have travelled today, even without his cane and the other knee" She smiled, making light of events for Anna's sake; she knew she still had some convincing to do " He's fine, honestly, he feels awful that he can't be here" she surmised, imagining what his reaction would really be "He'll be here next time" she e crossed her fingers under the table (as long as we can all control his drinking) "in the meantime, I was anxious to see you and we wouldn't have wanted to waste the visit". Somehow her confidence deserted her and she found herself struggling for conversation.

Then she smiled brightly and pointed to the basket at her side. It had already been searched as she came in and with a tacit nod from the guard she reached down for the shawl and passed it across the table .

"I brought you a few things" she said cheerfully. "A nightgown, your hairbrush" she whispered, before mouthing "some under clothes". I thought it would help to have some of your own things. Anna smiled, trying she knew for her sake, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Thank you" she whispered.

"Oh! And Mrs Patmore and Daisy sent you some biscuits they made first thing especially for you! Gingerbread they are – the kitchen smelled wonderful. Daisy has saved some mixture to bake with the children later. She has really taken to Miss Marigold – I think she can see something of herself there." She spoke briefly of this and that, passing on good wishes from home and recounting amusing anecdotes. "Oh Anna, I'm sorry – I'm wittering on like this….what, what is it my love?"

Tears rolled uncontrollably down Anna's face and Mrs Hughes found herself biting her lip to control her own emotions. It was rare for her to find herself in such unchartered waters and she cursed the wretched rules of this place. What Anna needed now, more than ever, was a hug. Never had she needed to reach out to someone as much as she did at this moment. What could she say or do to make thing better?

Almost sensing the indecision in the older woman, Anna rallied. Conscious that time was passing and they hadn't much longer left she looked up. The tears still fell unchecked and fear filled her eyes.

"Oh Mrs Hughes, you have been like my mother since I came to Downton; we have been through so much together and now this… I am tired, so so tired, so frightened. I'm frightened of what Mr Bates may so - and while my heart aches that he can't be here in a way I am glad that he is at least physically disabled for now – I thought when I saw you that he had gone and done something stupid" she attempted a little smile – barely there but enough to show that the real Anna was still there. " I am so pleased to see you" she said, the old Anna's genuine warmth there in her voice " and for Mrs Patmore and Daisy to send the biscuits… it's almost as if – oh, I don't know…I can't eat anything here – the food is awful…even the smell of it. I never thought that even porridge could smell so bad it turns my stomach – I've tried imagining it is Mrs Patmore's porridge but it doesn't work….and I feel nauseous all day, but even knowing the biscuits are there I …." She paused briefly, smiled weakly and continued in the same breathless way; it was as if now the floodgates had opened she couldn't stop, didn't want to for fear of losing precious time "… I can see them in the kitchen now. I spend a lot of my time at Downton – in my head. It calms me, it's an escape… but I do wonder if I'll ever actually see it again…."sadness enveloped her again as quickly as it had lifted for a few minutes.

Elsie too was quiet as she studied the girl in front of her, her girl, this was agonising, but jigsaw pieces had started to slot together in her mind and faced with the agony of time slipping away she needed to speak and quickly before the bell rang to signal the end of visiting.

"Anna? I don't know a lot about these things, but over the years I've seen a few housemaids….the nausea, the tiredness….I know this place, the food isn't helping, but do you think it might be, could be….possibly anything else?"

Anna blinked, wonder and life filling her eyes with the slow realisation of what had been said "Oh!" she gasped "I never thought…."

The bell rang, deafening, breaking into the precious moment….

A smile shared, a secret, hope for the future.

"Don't go" whispered Anna "please?"

"I must. You know I must. However much I want to take you with me, but hopefully it won't be long now." A warden approached glaring menacingly. "Don't give up my darling girl. Write lots and I'll see you very soon."

With no more ado she was unceremoniously ousted from the room and Anna returned to another 22 hours in (maybe not so) solitary confinement.

-0-0-

Finally, the train pulled into Downton. She hadn't known what time she would be back so there was no one to meet her; not that she would have expected it this close to the end of dinner, but it seemed somehow right; she was returning alone, without Anna and needed a bit of time to clear her head. The evening was cool; cooler than she had expected from her brief time outside in London, but the walk back to the Abbey was comforting, reassuring.

They were just finishing off the clearing up when she entered the kitchen. Silence fell as all eyes turned on her. Was it her imagination or did more than one pair of eyes look behind her as if expecting Mrs Hughes to have worked a miracle where others had failed; expecting Anna to be with her. "Hello" she said softly, inadequately, holding up her hand to forestall the questions she could see about to pour forth. Mr Bates was absent, she assumed his ankle was still bad, or else he had been diplomatically kept out of the way.

"Well then? "Asked Mrs Patmore bustling forward, hands on the table "'Ow is she? 'Ow did it go?"

"Anna is…well, and sends her best to you all. She thanks you for all your good wishes – and the biscuits and looks forward to coming home soon. Now if you'll excuse me, it's been a long day…"

"Come here. You're frozen." He said calmly leading her into his pantry. "The fire is lit. That and a brandy and you'll be as right as rain in no time."

She smiled weakly, allowing herself to be led. "Odd expression that" she said trying to smile as shivers ran through her. She shivered. " it was the finality of it all; the clanging of the gate behind me, the imprisonment. I felt as if they would never unlock those gates again, as if they could read that I was guilty, guilty o f keeping her secret, perverting the course of justice by not telling them about Green… I fi felt like that in those few minutes, what did poor Anna feel when they took her?"

"Sit" he ordered almost pushing her into the winged leather armchair by the fire and handing her a balloon glass of brandy. He picked her chatelaine off his desk – Miss Baxter had dutifully returned it earlier- and went to get her favourite blanket from her sitting room.

It hadn't felt right, Miss Baxter holding the keys today, though she had done a sterling job, completing all that need to be done and working well on her own initiative, but these were her keys; On the chatelaine hung the keys which gave her the authority over who could access what within the household as such, she was the one who would direct the servants, housemaids, cooks and delivery servicemen and would open or lock the access to the valuables of the house. No one else could ever compare. He had had a very odd day, but one that he could not, would not share with her. He had missed her terribly, worried about her and how she would feel seeing Anna; worse how she would feel having to leave her again at the end of the day. Mr Bates had, predictably, woken up like a bear with a sore head and had created a real rumpus about sleeping in the attics not the cottage, then reality had hit, closely followed by remorse. Thomas had taken the brunt of it and he had to give it to the lad, he had borne it well, even the strike of the older man's cane in rage. That said, it had been a great relief to see Dr Clarkson when he had called to ostensibly check on the ankle. He put it down to a gut intuition in scots (certainly the two in Downton!) but the doctor had taken one look at the flush of rage on the valets face and immediately administered a sleeping draught. A quiet word with his Lordship had also elicited the promise of a "quiet chat" when Bates was feeling better. If anyone, other than Anna, could influence the man, it was him.

Assured that Mrs Patmore had indeed sent everyone else up to bed, he breathed a sigh of relief and headed back into his room. Instead of warming up in front of the fire, she was, if anything even paler and shaking even more. She hadn't touched the brandy. Putting his arm firmly around her he raised her to standing and wrapped the blanket tightly round her before lifting her on to his lap as he had done many times with the Crawley girls when they were little. He picked the glass up from the side table and raised it to her lips, encouraging her gently to drink.

"It's the shock" he said as her teeth chattered against the glass "it's been one hell of an ordeal and being on your own, you've had to hold it all together until you were home."

"At least I am home" she whispered eventually. "Anna….." she stared into the fire, lost in memories of that awful place, of Anna's haunted look, of her fears for her girl and the weight of the additional secret they now shared.

Gradually her colour returned and her shivering eased. She didn't talk; their silence one of understanding and ease. It was enough, for now, curled up in his arms, to feel safe, to feel home, where she should be; to try and erase those awful thoughts of her darling girl, who at this moment would be lucky to come home to the comforting embrace of the man she loved. Thoughts muddled in her mind, she smiled and snuggled closer.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**What a visit! Poor Anna. For now though we are back to letters flying back and forth (and an interlude with Bates). And poor Mrs H – another secret to hold, but at least a happier one! Enjoy x**

**-0-**

My Darling Wife

I am so so sorry to have been such a fool as to fall on the service stairs and hence be incapacitated with a sprained ankle rather than with you today.

Please forgive me Anna. I hope you have enjoyed catching up with Mrs Hughes who I am glad was able to be there in my place.

I shall endeavour to be with you at the first opportunity.

Yours ever

J Bates

-0-

Dear Mr Bates

My darling, I am worried about you. How did you come to fall? Am I being told the truth? Please, please don't do anything foolish. Our love has been assaulted many times, and I am convinced that it is true because the longer I am away from you, the greater is my yearning to be with you again. You are my enchanted Prince, and I am your devoted Princess. I cherish any thought of you, prize any memory of you that rises from the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will over.

Please be careful my love and come and see me soon.

Your Anna x

-0-

_Dear Daisy_

_Thank you so much for your lovely letter and the wonderful biscuits which Mrs Hughes brought yesterday – you cannot understand what a difference they have made to me. The food here is awful; a couple of your biscuits and I feel a whole lot brighter. I think seeing Mrs Hughes yesterday is also responsible for me feeling brighter._

_Daisy, can I ask a question? Did Mr Bates really fall? I somehow feel that I'm not being told everything and can trust you._

_I'm very pleased that you have decided to stay at Downton for now. You have grown up with us and would be very sorely missed – I dread to think of Mrs Patmore's temper should you leave!_

_I was also pleased to hear that you finally feel you have laid William to rest. Never doubt though that you are a widow in the true sense. William loved you very much and you made him incredibly happy. Something which you continue to this day through the lovely bond you have with Mr Mason. The war changed everything and you have it to thank for all the opportunities beyond service which are now open to us as women. We all loved William and I don't doubt that he would have been incredibly proud of how well you have done and how learned you are these days._

_I am very glad that Miss Bunting has stayed in touch – though still sorry that thingd did not work out with her and Mr Branson. Do keep reading. Use the Abbey library. If you are enjoying American literature try Little Women next – I think you may see some of Jo in yourself! Talk to Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson, both love reading and will, I'm sure help you with your choices._

_Please write again soon._

_Love_

_Anna_

-0-

My Dear Anna

It was wonderful to see you. Everyone here was anxious for news. I sent them your best, but have only shared our conversation with Lady Mary. She is much encouraged and will be speaking with the lawyers again today.

Mr Bates' ankle is healing well and he should be with you for a visit in just over a week. Please let me know if there is anything you need and I will make sure he brings it.

You asked me to describe to the sights of home. Autumn has always been my favourite season but this year, it lies heavy on the moors. The bracken is yellowing, heather passing from bloom, and the clumps of wild-wood taking the soft russet and purple of decline. Faint odours of wood smoke seemed to flit over the moor, and the sharp lines of the trees were drawn as with a graving-tool against the sky As the days wane, the nights close in and the trees don their vibrant hues, a chill creeps into the air. Not the bite of wintry blusters, but just a nip to let us know a new season is at hand. The house looks lovely in this light, but the cold is starting to seep in, particularly in the attics at night – you will remember that well!

The avenue is lit by the first rays of the day as I write, shining through a thin layer of grey cloud like a stain glass window. No more are the trees their virescent hues of spring and summer, but are scarlets and gold. In just a few weeks they will stand naked in the frozen air, bereft of their gaiety. Already the village is adorned with their transient beauty.

As I walked home from the village the other evening, I deliberately trod on each one to hear the crunch. Just ahead a leaf tumbles from it's weary branch, it twists and rocks as it falls through the almost still air and the winter berries on the bushes make every corner of the garden come alive with colour.

Never forget how proud I am of you Anna. Do try and eat. It has never been more important.

Take care of yourself my dear, dear girl.

Elsie Hughes

-0-

Dear Anna

I'm glad you liked the biscuits. Mr Bates is coming to see you tomorrow and he will bring some more with him. His ankle is better but he is limping more than normal. He did fall down the stairs – he made a real racket and Mrs Patmore burned the sauce for dinner in what she called the "kerfuffle" afterwards. I guess Mrs Hughes left that bit out!

I'm glad I stayed but feel that the world is changing and that lots of girls don't want to go into service anymore. Mrs Patmore is not happy as she has not had many replied to the latest advert for a kitchen maid. I can see why though. Since I started learning, I feel as if I've been educated for something else, but what?

Anyway I wander again. Thank you for suggesting I read Little Women. I love them all – yes, Jo but also Beth and Marmee and Laurie…Mrs Patmore says she would get more sense out of me if she published what she wanted to tell me in a novel!

Hope you are keeping well.

Daisy

-0-

"Bates! Glad you're back on your feet. Now a word please. My dressing room will do."

Lord Grantham strode ahead, waited for his valet to limp slowly behind him and closed the door firmly.

"Well" he said "a fine mess you've made of things. "What were you thinking man to start drinking again? How would Anna feel if she knew?" He waved away the other mans attempt at a protest " I took you into my emply Bates on th e understanding that the drinking stopped. I understand that you are upset. We all are, but your role is to be strong for Anna not make a complete idiot of yourself as you have."

Bates stared at the floor, humbled. The family had been more than fair. Because of his longstanding relationship with His Lordship, he had, he knew overstepped the boundaries of the sevant on many occasions. They had stood by him when he was imprisoned, had allowed him to marry Anna and for them both to stay on afterwards, were even now supporting Anna with legal help atht was way beyond his financial means. And yet, anger never far away bubbled away in him. What did this man, this man of privilege who had never worked a day in his life, who had married an American heiress primarily for her dowry (admittedly it had worked out in the end, but even so….) know about how he felt? How dare he presume to lecture him?

He knew that to drink was to play with fire, but without he couldn't sleep, couldn't block out images of Anna in that place, Anna being attacked by Green, Anna, Anna, Anna….

"Bates!" his masters voice brought him back down to earth with a bump "You may not appreciate everything that people are doing for you and your wife; but people do care. I strongly suspect that I only know a fraction of your misdemeanours over the last few weeks. I have my suspicions that a fair amount has been covered over by your friends downstairs. Don't push them away.

If it were up to me, looking at your insolent, devil may care attitude, you would be out on your ear; but it would pain me to do so. If not for you, for Anna. Final chance. Pull yourself together man. Support her with a fraction of the dedication with which she supported you when roles were reversed and she may stand a chance."

"Yes sir" Bates mumbled, shocked at this outburst, humiliated as the truth hit him that maybe he had been out of control. He had certainly been out of order.

"Oh, and Bates – Anna never once let her duties slip….bear it in mind."

-0-

_Dear Mrs Hughes_

_I can't express how good it was to see you and thank you for your lovely letters. Life here continues…well, you've seen it….word from Downton remains a wonderful escape._

_I can see the parkland as your describe it. It is impossible not to appreciate how lucky we are to live in such a wonderful place – and to have the relative freedom which we have to enjoy the freedom. I miss the moors and the clean Yorkshire air. I close my eyes and am walking past the lake towards the folly with early leaf fall crunching beneath my feet as I walk and the skittering of squirrels in the branches._

_Mr Bates remains oddly reticent in his correspondence – strangely formal and it worries me. I know you have reassured me that all is well but whether it is a wifely instinct I know not, but something isn't right._

_I remain grateful that when he was imprisoned I didn't know how bad it was. I feel for him, having that knowledge must make it harder._

_I implore you not to tell him of our final conversation. Given time to reflect, I think you are right. Thank you for speaking to Lady Mary, but it is early days and I think would cause him more anxiety than is good for him._

_I am wandering now to the village from the cottage, my route to the post office clear in my mind. I am convincing myself that once I can't see home, that will be the time to worry. I indulge myself in daydreams of food and books and mid spring. But I can't deny feeling lonely and alone sometimes, especially when my dreams are somewhere else and I'm just by myself. That's mostly the time when I feel vulnerable, and I wished I had a constant companion If I'm not lonely, I know that I have a lot of things to be grateful for. My loneliness only springs from moments of weakness, but I know I am definitely stronger than that. But my life has been wonderful, and I don't think I should be asking for too much when I already have a lot. I love my friends and they love me, and they are always here for me whenever I really need them. I know God's time for me will come. I just need reminders from time to time._

_Oh, and as regards what I need – aside from the obvious…some more ginger biscuits please!_

_Love_

_Anna_

-0-


	12. Chapter 12: What if?

**Chapter 12: What if?**

My Dear Anna,

I can barely believe that eight weeks have passed. It has been grey and autumnal; it seems that winter is coming later but I think it will be a hard one from the number of berries on the trees.

Mrs Patmore has been busy preserving and downstairs has a wonderful smell of autumn fruits. Daisy has proved herself a genius at chutneys with the results much praised upstairs and down. Mrs Patmore finds herself torn between pride and indignation! I have put a few jars in your larder at the cottage for you to enjoy when you return.

You ask for news. There is little to report really. Mr Bates seems brighter for his visits to you. Mr Molesley continues to pay a very slow courtship to Miss Baxter which is quite endearing. The children are spending quite a bit of time downstairs – I think Mr Branson is encouraging it and we are all enjoying their company, particularly Daisy.

_She laid down her pen and read through what she had written. Awful as the almost acceptance seemed, it was so much easier to write these days; she looked back to the dark, early days of Anna's imprisonment. She remembered, only too well, the chill that had settled over her, how she had initially been too wrapped up in her own grief to see how Mr Bates was suffering, how she had nearly unravelled completely the day of the unveiling. It had been over two months now, heartbreakingly long months. They had managed, with the support of the family that she had never gone without a visitor, even Lady Mary had been twice to see her. Barely a day went by either without her receiving a letter from one of them, even when there was little to report, it was the feeling remembered that mattered._

_The worry hadn't gone though, particularly now that Anna was pregnant; she feared for her, for the much longed for baby. The conditions could not be good for either of them. She had kept her promise, told only Lady Mary - who hoped it may be grounds for an appeal. If Mr Carson had sensed a reticence in sharing some of Anna's letters since that day he didn't say._

_Bates too, deserved to know. He was a different man; changed since his "wobble". He seemed stronger, his bitter, vengeful anger of those first few weeks now directed into positive ways to help Anna, to work towards her release. She still shuddered at the worn down Anna she had seen on that first visit and hoped that there would be a resolution soon. Her baby had given Anna something to live for and her love of life and determination to come home was back in her letters._

_-0-_

Dear Mrs Hughes

I am melancholic today – but in a calm and peaceful way. I have been given a few more liberties, allowed to clear table after communal meals. Many of the girls complain, but to me it is comforting; a return to my routine. Above all else it is human interaction – which aside from visiting – I have sorely missed. I never realise d how sociable life at Downton is until it was taken away from me.

I feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunities I have. Whatever happened in the future – and I really do feel as if fate is conspiring against me and Mr Bates – I have no regrets. My life at Downton has been a happy one. You are all my family and I look back with affection to many evenings sat in the servants hall after a long and busy day. I have had opportunities which a girl from my background would never otherwise have had. Along with my "inventory" of the house, I have also retraced the steps of Lady Mary's wedding journey and the wonderful places we visited in Europe - in my mind I go back there and try to feel the warmth of Amalfi and Rome. I dream of the fashions we saw in Paris and the colours. The world is changing and I believe that opportunities to travel will be there for all of us in the future…maybe for you and Mr Carson when you retire; for Daisy in her quest for knowledge. I have had my chance and know that the photographs in my mind are all I have now. I can see Downton so clearly. I see it today covered in a light covering of snow; even the snow is whiter in Yorkshire. It falls grey outside my window.

I have never been more grateful, more aware of you all and how you all supported me when I was alone, when Mr Bates was taken. I know you will offer him the same support now and only hope that he can keep believing, keep hope for the future. I feel empty; my concerns now are for him, not myself. My future feels dark and unknown. The awful cycle going round in my head of "what ifs".

I am thinking Emily Rose for a girl; William James for a boy. Please hold that thought for Mr Bates should you ever need it.

Love Anna x

-0-

My Beloved Anna,

Another day has passed without me seeing your beautiful smile in the mornings it is painful to think that the person I love so much is away from me and if I could do anything about it, believe me I would. I know that there is a great amount of distance in proximity between us now, but I also do know that we are capable of making it work. I love you much more than you will ever know and the fact that you are mine is something that delights me each day. So just continue to love me as I do too.

You know me to well wife of mine to believe that this has been easy for me. I am awe struck by your dignity and demeanour throughout. With each visit you seem to glow more; I yearn to have you home. I am coming to London again next week and meeting with Lady Mary and the legal team. I know not whether I will be able to see you, but know I am nearby and you are constantly in my thoughts.

Sometimes in life when we finally find that special someone, we want nothing more than to be with them and spend all our hours with them. When I knew that you were mine forever that is something that I wanted too, I wanted us to be together there for each other no matter what. This physical distance that has come between us is something that cannot diminish how we feel about each other. As they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I know that I love you even more with each passing day. I will love you forever.

Love,

Your John x

-0-

Dear Mrs Hughes

Forgive me the tone of my last letter. Gloomy thoughts sometimes catch me unawares.

I feel much more positive today and have our little secret to thank for that. I am sure I feel butterflies in my stomach now. How I long to share all this with Mr Bates.

Do forgive me if eth new familiarity of our correspondence makes me bold, but there are several hundred miles and a lifetime between us and I now feel brave enough to ask you questions I would never have dared to face to face!

Do you ever feel you should have gone another way Mrs Hughes? Married? Had a family? You would have made a wonderful mother. It struck me that you , like me, were head housemaid, but becoming housekeeper cost you a lot of the freedom and opportunities which I have still had as a Ladies' maid.

Forgive me my impertinence! It's just that Christmas is coming and I wondered!

Love, Anna x

-0-

My Dear Anna

Am I that frightening?! I do not consider you impertinent; I am not that old that I don't remember the curiosity downstairs about senior members of staff – in particular draconian housekeepers! Between you and me, I always felt that there was more to Mrs Bute than we ever knew, but maybe that was simply observing from a distance.

Your question surprised me though. Not in the asking, but in the wording. I asked Mr Carson much the same a few years ago.

Yes, I do wonders sometimes, but Downton has been my life, my family.

From the first I recognised something of myself in e pride, determination and, at times, stubbornness. As housekeeper my role has been to keep a professional distance, to focus on work, perfection; but my own years as a housemaid taught me that a cold distant working relationship must be balanced. Like you, I learned the hard way. I only met your father once Anna, the night he brought you to Downton , but the similarities to my own childhood that I saw in you that night have never left me.

The current circumstances lead me to a confession. A housekeeper must never have favourites, but I do. Anna - you have, in so many ways been the daughter I never had. We have been through so much together; seen off so many staff.

I have never told you anything of my childhood. You may not be interested, but I feel that geography and profession apart you may come to realise how I have always empathised with you.

My father was a tenant farmer in Argyll. He was, on the face of it, a hardworking pillar of society; a devout Calvinist who willingly preached fire and brimstone from the pulpit on a Sunday and around his own kitchen table. He ran the farm with a fierce efficiency and there was always a good yield of crops. Life on the land (as with mill workers as your parents were) is hard; and a certain toughness a prerequisite to that kind of life. My sister and I grew up on the harsh reality of life and death. My father was a strong farmer, but a weak man.

My mother was his antithesis: pretty, lively, always singing. She did her best to make our meagre lifestyle warm and comforting. I have only fond memories of her. Mrs Patmore once (wrongly!) said that I could wrap Mr Carson round my little finger. That struck a chord as it so summed up my parents. My tiny, delicate mother could more than twist my bullish father round hers.

For most of my childhood, his worked to the a advantage of my sister and I. We had a wonderful childhood – playing in the locks and glens – it may be hard to believe now, but I was a wild young lass then. I was ten when she took ill. There had been a baby, who died and she was never well again after.

My father was heartbroken; he spent every moment with her. The farm started to suffer; life was hard. He spent every penny, borrowed against livestock to try and cure her; when that failed he spent on any luxury that may cheer her. I was, like you, twelve when I lost her. Like you, I was left with a father who was lost without his wife. I never met your mother Anna, but snatches you have told me over the years have led me to think that she was, like my own mother, the stronger one in the relationship.

Hold that thought Anna, and look at your own strength. Look at how you coped when you were without Mr Bates. Look at the strong women around you – Lady Mary and how she has coped with being widowed so young; Lady Sybil, willing to risk everything in the name of love; Mrs Crawley; The Dowager…need I say more?

I am immensely proud of how you have grown Anna.

When I accepted the post of Head Housemaid (there you and I do differ, I came to Downton in my twenties, having learnt elsewhere) I turned down a marriage proposal. He was a farmer, and we had been walking out for a few months. I knew the life, but I wanted more; I wanted to travel; to learn about culture; I had seen the hardships of life on the land and it wasn't for me.

Have I ever regretted it? No, I don't think so. He was a good man and will always hold a place in my heart. Nearly ten years ago he came to see me at Downton. He had been widowed and asked me again to marry him. I was flattered but said no. It confirmed that my place, my family were at Downton. You and Mr Bates were settled by then and I knew that I could never settle for convenience. Only for love like you have.

I am sorry Anna, you asked a simple question and you have all this outpouring! It suddenly strikes me that you don't wish you'd gone another way do you? Whatever life has thrown at you, remember that you are incredibly lucky to have married for love and to have an amazing future to look ahead to .

Yours affectionately

Elsie Hughes

-0-

Dear Mrs Hughes

Maybe, sometimes, I don't know. What if I had moved on from Downton? What if I'd never met Mr Bates? What if I'd walked away when I found out about his first wife? What if I _had_ killed Mr Green? What if? What if?

Very easy questions to mull over when you have as much thinking time as I do at present. What if I'd stayed a housemaid? I wouldn't have been able to stay on married, I wouldn't even have been up at the Abbey _that_ night. What if the witness had picked the real guilty party in the identity parade not me?

What if I never see Downton, Mr Bates, you again?

Your letter put things into perspective for me. We make the decisions we do for a reason. For love. For fate.

What if I come home and you dismiss me for impertinence? Why you ask? I am going to ask you another question: you say you will only marry for love - did you turn down a proposal ten years ago because it simply came from the wrong man?

What if….before you cut off all contact with me - you stop and look; look at Mr Carson, Mrs Hughes, look at the way he looks at you. The way he admonishes anyone who dares to speak out of turn in front of you? The way he praises you and your efficiency all the time – upstairs and down; the way he smiles when you enter a room then hides behind a professional façade. Look at how pleased he was to see you when you came to London for Lady Rose's season.

What if?

Please don't take offence.

Love

Anna x


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Well here we go, second instalment today so if you haven't read Chapter 12 please go back.**

**Hope you enjoy x**

**-0-**

She stood back and looked at the table laid for their Christmas meal. Six places. Mrs Patmore and Daisy. Herself and Mr Carson. Mr Bates. A lump filled her throat. Christmas had always been Anna's favourite time of year.

In her own mind, as the weeks had passed, Christmas had been the milestone. Somehow Anna's pregnancy had made it all the more symbolic. She would be, must be, home for Christmas.

Yet there was no apparent sign of her being freed. Mr Bates had taken her gifts when he went earlier in the week. He ahd reported no sign of Christmas in the prison and that Anna had seemed down. She had been more upbeat of late. Bold even; she had taken Anna's advice, and watched Mr Carson, but instead of giving her the answers she looked for, she felt awkward, embarrassed. Afraid. She shook herself. It was silly. Anna admitted she had too much time to think. That was all.

It was worrying. All of it.

The house was quiet without the family and they had encouraged any staff with family to go home for the festive season. Enjoy it while they could as the opportunity rarely came about. Mr Molesley had invited Miss Baxter to lunch with himself and his father in the village so the little downstairs family was much depleted this year.

The little tree in the servants hall sparkled and the table was lovely. They were using the smaller round table this year as befitted their fewer numbers. It was cosier, but the glasses shone and the crackers glistened.

-0-

The meal was, as ever, excellent and there was a comfortable camaraderie around the table. Afterwards, Daisy with the childlike enthusiasm which had never left her doled out the presents from beneath. There were lovely gifts for all of them; from one another and from the family and those absent. Bates looked bashfully round. "Anna chose and gave me a list" he apologised.

Then there was just one gift left. A small flat box. Addressed to Mr Bates and signed simply with an x. Puzzled, he frowned. They looked around perplexed. There was no one else it could be from. "Maybe it is from Santa!" Daisy offered hopefully.

"Well, open it then!" ordered Mrs Hughes.

Inside, nestled in tissue sat a key. A key he instantly recognised. The key to the cottage. Questions abounded but everyone was baffled. "Not yours?" he asked the housekeeper aware that she had been in and out since he moved back into the Abbey.

"No, mine is older than that" she confirmed.

"Strange. I'd better go and see what it means" he said, consternation ageing his face as he reached for his cane.

-0-

Nothing could have prepared Bates for what he saw approaching the cottage. The lights were all on and a figure stood silhouetted in the window.

"ANNA!" he cried running as fast as he could towards home. As she saw him coming she flew out of the door and into his arms.

"You're home!" He swung her into his arms, kissing her hard as he tried to process the fact that she was there in front of him. "How? The key? From you?"

She nodded "With a little help from Father Christmas –" He silenced her with a kiss that spoke more than words.

Leading him into their home she smiled up at him. "They had insufficient evidence and had talked of letting me out on remand in the New Year. Suddenly last night they came for me and released me. Lady Rosemond met me on Lady Mary's orders. We didn't think I'd get home for Christmas, but luckily there are still trains – albeit mail ones! From York, I took a cab and got here about an hour ago"

"My darling!" he breathed gathering her to him. Never again would he leave their love to granted; never again would he be tempted; never again would he let her out of his sight.

Sometime later they sat companionably by the fire.

"I haven't had much time for Christmas shopping, Mr Bates" she said teasingly, silencing him with a kiss, before placing his hand on her gently rounded stomach "so you will have to wait and see what the Easter Bunny brings instead"

A love light of realisation, of understanding lit his eyes as he bent once more to kiss his wife; the mother of his child. Never again would he doubt Father Christmas and the miracles he could bring as he caressed her stomach; his child.

-0-

"Do you think everything is alright with Mr Bates?" asked Mrs Hughes as she placed a tea tray down in front of Mr Carson. "Do you think we should follow him?"

"Not yet. He needs a bit of space. We both know that there is nothing to drink left in the cottage and he has been so much better. Today has been particularly hard for him. Let him be for now."

"It's been a very strange day" she said, the empty space at the table in her mind. "I wonder how Anna has managed."

He reached for her instinctively and held her tight. How things had changed. How he longed to speak of how she made him feel when he held her in his arms. How empty he felt when she left. Too long had passed though, he thought sadly; too many years of being just colleagues, just friends.

"Thank you" she whispered as she leant once more into a comforting hug. This really was becoming a bit of a habit. "For everything".

"It's nothing" he whispered into her hair, glad that she e could not see his face which he suspected gave away that rather than nothing it was _everything_; he hated what had happened with Anna, but it had, awful as it was brought them closer. She had needed him like never before. A comforting embrace had come to embody everything he felt for her but couldn't say. A bridge had been crossed. It was a lot less scary to hug than to declare undying love outright to her. He hoped that the way she had smuggled into him, welcomed his arms said what words could not; that maybe, just maybe she felt the same way –loved him too. He yearned to say the words,but somehow it seemed crass to tell her how much he loved her with Anna imprisoned and her heart torn. She stirred in his arms and looked up "maybe Mr Carson, but sometimes actions speak louder than words" and reaching up she kissed him gently on his cheek. Gently, but more than a mere peck ….

His eyes met hers and time stopped.

He cleared his throat. "Mrs Hughes, a while ago I propsed that we invest in a property together" she sighed; the moment shattered, why did he always do this; every time she felt close to him, he became formal, distant.

Put his finger softly to her chin and tilted her head to maintain eye contact "I put it clumsily. I do still suggest that Mrs Hughes and I invest. However, what I really wanted to say is that I want to retire, to enjoy the proceeds with you, Elsie, not Mrs Hughes, but Mrs Carson." Gently he knelt before her reaching in his pocket for a ring. "Will you?" he asked "Will you marry me?"

Tearfully she nodded as he slid the ring on to her finger. "Merry Christmas" he whispered as he stood to kiss her. no gentle peck this time, but twenty years of longing, twenty years of love, twenty years of kissing to make up for lost time.

-0-

A knocking at the door startled them.

"Good heavens!" she gasped that sounded just like Anna's ….

It was as well that he was standing as close as the door opened to reveal Anna and Bates, never had she needed steadying more than when she cried "Anna, my darling girl!" As the women embraced their men looked over them, proudly, proprietorially, happy.

Time passed, happily in catching up; Anna's story told. Then she looked up at the housekeeper, mischief sparkling in her eyes…. "You looked then?" she asked, a subtle nod to the ring twinkling in the firelight.

"I looked, and found, as you said right here" she smiled back gazing adoringly into the eyes of the man she loved, had always loved.

"Good!" said Anna deceisevely standing as she spoke "Because there is a baby due about Easter who needs a Grandma… and a Grandpa…and she would really rather like them to be married." Winking at Mrs Hughes she turned to Mr Carson and whispered audibly "It's more conventional, you know".

Laughter echoed round the room as the two couples simply delighted in being together; in the comfort of their new found relationships; in the promise of what Easter held.

-0-

"Mrs Patmore! Mrs Patmore!" Elsie Hughes gently shook awake the woman who had been her nearest friend, if oft enemy, over the last twenty years.

"Dear Lord above woman! Where's the fire?" the cook struggled upright in her chair; taking in her dear friend, Mr Carson as ever protectively in her shadow, but this time with a soppy smile upon his face. Recognition dawned. "Dear God! Twenty years and the penny has finally dropped!" she gasped. The gold ring again caught the lamplight and was grasped in the cooks hand – "Oh!" she gasped her gaze fixed on the band which looked as if it had always been there. Looking up she saw the unshed tears of happiness in her friends eyes "you daft woman" she chastised "Twenty years the two of you have loved on another – you finally do something about it and you go and cry! Congratulations to you both. Charlie Carson, I've know you nigh on forty year. Look after her for me…it's about time, but I'm so ha_" Her mouth dropped open as she looked beyond

"Bloody hell!" she gasped "Oh my giddy aunt, Anna?"

"Hello Mrs Patmore" Anna leant forward to kiss the older woman, still flushed from her nap.

"Am I dreaming?" asked the cook nervously "What was in that wine Mr Carson? I may have overindulged….Anna, you look so well…plumper than I'd have thought, Oh Good God! Daisy will think it's those biscuits of hers…."

Laughter overcame them all; laughter, merriment, and pure simple happiness at being with those they loved at Christmas.

-0-

**So there you have it! Thank you all so much for reading; deeedeee – thank you! Kate, I hope Mr Bates redeemed himself! **

**I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Here's hoping tomorrows CS leaves us all feeling as happy **

**Please review & Merry Christmas to you all xxx**


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